Thursday, January 29, 2009

just a thought ..

Ok, so I always think about this but I never really write it down or tell anyone about it, coz I only ever think about it late at night when I'm pulling all nighters and normally no one is awake to tell, so imma just write it hear and people can read :). Now keep in mind, I'm not an emo, I'm a happy kid. LOL. Probably the happiest kid you'll meet, if you meet me, but yeah, just something I think about..

The thought is about death. Like just thinking about how old I am, and how many of my years have past by so quickly. It makes me think about my future and where I'm going to end up and University and my career and my kids and husband and everything. When I first started high school, my senior years seemed so far away, and now I'm a senior. This year, it really hit me, that I'm growing up and soon, one day, imma be on my death bed, thinking about my life and how fast it's gone past. I know it will happen one day, and that it's enevitable, but I really don't want that day to come. I know this sounds really depressing, but it's really not. I've come to accept the fact that I'm going to die one day, but sometimes when I think about things it just brings up this fear of dying.

Just for a moment, think about what it would be like if you were dead. It's so hard to imagine. You can't hear anything at all, you can't smell anything and all, you can't feel anything at all and you can't see anything at all. When you close your eyes you can see black, right? Well when you're dead you can't see anything, nothing at all. I just find it really hard to imagine that, maybe it's just me?


Ok, back to what i was saying.. yeah death. I have so many questions about death, but no one to ask to get my answers. Where do you go after you die? Do you even go anywhere? If you're buried, are you just lying in the ground for the rest of your life.. well not your life.. but eternity? I mean, your emotions and thoughts and everything just seize to exist. How can that happen, even when you're asleep, you're still dreaming, even though you might not remember them, you are still dreaming. Some people say you got to heaven or hell when you die, some say that you just go to a place that you think is paradise. The Eygptians believed that you went to an underworld. Hindus believe that you get rencarnated as another living thing in another life. Who do you believe? Who knows about death? It's not like you can ask the dead what happens, they're dead.

Yeah, I'm sorry if I've depressed you on a happy day. I just think it's something that should be thought about now, instead of having a mid-life crisis. I just hope that when my day does come, that I've accomplished everything that I've to be and experienced everything that I've wanted to do. I would say have no regrets, but I already have regrets and I can't go back in time and change em, so I just accept it and move on. Actually, I believe it's good to regret things, sometimes it's not good to go and do things on impulse. But whatever, it's your life and if you're happy with it, that's all that matters, I guess.

I'm off nows
nights :)

P.s. always remember to SMILE :) good for you health (Y).

1 comment:

  1. LMAO jani
    did that english poem get to yu ?
    yu're english is amazing ahaha
    im srs

    LOL "yu cant smell anything"

    but yeahh dw bub .. its a normal thing to think about
    its kinda scary and all, but yeahh hopefully when the time comes yu'll feel satisfied and at ease with the life yu've lived

    anyways xx